Kyla Gilbreath - 🍓Self Portrait Series

🍓Solitude Series

In this series, I describe how and where my loneliness is cultivated. I have struggled with breaking out of my cage of solitude. Overwhelming feelings of alienation plague me to the point of tunnel vision. Judgment from societal changes makes me feel alone in places where I should feel the happiest. Through disconnection from my family, disingenuous friends, and a masked appearance of how I respond to holidays and events, I have accepted and gained experience throughout. My environment plays a part in my mental health, but in the end, it's up to me to mend the broken pieces, and I am driven to come out unscathed.

"Scream of Silence" 9" x 12" - 2024 - Color Pencil

This self-portrait explores the tension between internal emotion and outward silence. Using a palette of blue and pink, conveying a sense of muted intensity, an expression of feeling as though I am screaming internally, even when no one can hear me. Emphasizing the emotional depth beneath the surface, inviting the viewer to sense the quiet turmoil embedded within the portrait.

"Fat Girl" 8" x 10" - 2025 - Color Pencil

I often feel confined when talking about my health. With my father being sick and a body read before they listen, the conversation turns toward prevention, prediction, and what I should change. The cool and contrasting colors in this piece mirror that mental tug-of-war between who I am and who others think I should be.

"The Bed I Lay In" 16" x 12" - 2023 - Color Pencil

This piece reflects my personal space, being the bed where I often felt most alone. It became the setting for quiet moments that shaped my internal world. Creating a monochromatic portrait of myself, emphasizing isolation, the color scheme, and soft transitions of color working together to evoke that sense of stillness, and showing the emotional weight of my thoughts.

"Bounded Affection" 12" x 15" - 2023 - Color Pencil

This piece reflects a moment where I locked my heart to protect it. Hiding my heart away so others couldn't see the loneliness I was carrying. Using this colored palette, I created layers presenting warmth and shadow to present tensions between my vulnerability to my own heart. The bright tones show what I wished to show, and darker values express what I kept hidden beneath that surface.

"Ownself" 14" x 12" - 2023 - Color Pencil

This piece reflects my attempt to control my own emotions by containing them, even when that meant being my own reason for my loneliness. The hands being over the jar symbolize the tension between safety and confinement. It emphasizes the quiet and heavy atmosphere of withdrawing my own emotions.

Solace in Petals" 14 1/2" x 9 1/2" 2024

This work reflects the emotional weight of observing my father's illness and the profound loneliness that can settle in a hospital room. Showing him holding a rose as a symbol of love and the passing of time in the room. Although this may not be a self-portrait, it proves my connection to my father, being close in relation to how we feel. The composition captures the stillness of that environment while emphasizing the tenderness of vulnerability present in moments of uncertainty.

This work is a moment of emerging light and an acknowledgment that even in the shadows and even when I feel alone, I am not truly isolated. Using layered values to convey the shift from darkness towards the light. Exploring the reassurance that the world holds more connection with others than it may appear.

This piece is the ache I felt on my eighteenth birthday, a day that should have felt significant but instead passed like any other. My candles remaining unblown, a celebration that never fully arrived. The stillness of the room emphasizes the sense of being overlooked, the distance between expectation and reality.

This work is the routine I experienced during a period in my life where I'd arrive alone. Every day, I would come home from school feeling alone, but the loneliness felt like another part of the everyday rhythm. The warm but muted tones convey the feeling of distance and how isolation became familiar, even when it remains a feeling.

"Fragmented Pieces" 17 1/2" x 14 1/2" 2024

I move through life trying to assemble myself. Forcing different pieces into a puzzle that never quite fits. The deep shadows and scratched textures echo that feeling, capturing the raw edges of how I experience becoming more of myself rather than the pieces that don't fit.